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You know, a certain monkey has a birthday coming up. And I have it on good authority that what he really wants is:
Note the none-too-subtle implication that, were the King of Pop to be in possession of a Skate Bike, there’s a good chance he would have finally outrun the fame and adulation that drove him mad.
Fourth of July” just sounds so staid, don’t you think? This will be a tough one, as it’ll be America’s first Michael Jackson-less 4th of July in 50 years. Thankfully, we have the greatest song ever written by a stunt man: Dennis Mandalone’s America, We Stand As One to get us through this dark, glitterless night.
Alternately, you could just spend a minute with my favorite July 4th moment - Brad Neely’s “George Washington”
There’s a reason Americans very suddenly hate Nicholas Cage, and it’s not because of his hair from Bangkok Dangerous (okay, that too.)
The real reason we’re fed up with the Coppola in disguise? He’s not making any amazing commercials for the United States of Us. Click ‘play’ below to see what we’ve been missing.
With X-Men Origins: Wolverine set to hit theaters two weeks from Friday the marketing has gone into overdrive including short clips centered around giving us a look at each of the main characters in the film (for those who haven’t already downloaded and watched the entire leaked version online). This one focuses on Gambit, who (at least for me) comes off like some half-assed cheap magician you’d find playing weeknights for tips at Harrah’s Casino outside of Topeka, Kansas. Thankfully the Deadpool and Sabertooth commercials look at least a little better.
Because why not?
Oh, Eric…will your sick love of all things KISS (parody or not) never cease to amuse me?
As if we needed one. With Watchmen still limping around the box office, “visionary director” Zack Snyder has turned his attention to what might be his next big project: a sequel to 300 that would take place roughly a year after the first film ended. No, you didn’t misread that. Now I didn’t hate 300 (mostly because it was impossible to take seriously as it was laughably bad in places), but I came out mildly positive on it as a popcorn flick. That doesn’t mean I have any interest, at all, of seeing a sequel. If you can stomach it, you can read more here or watch the video below.
IESB reported last week that Fox is considering wiping their slate clean and rebooting the Fantastic Four franchise. And while I’ll take any opportunity to have Sue Storm recast, it’s important that Fox know they could be doing a lot worse. That’s because, little do most know, the Four got the film treatment back in 1994 via a super low-budget film from Roger Corman. And with the glittery magic of YouTube at our disposal, you can watch all of this almost-forgotten Bag-O-Suck for freeskies. I have to confess that I haven’t sat down to watch this yet, but if the Wikipedia synopsis detailing of “the Fantastic Four and their battle with . . . a mysterious Mole Man-like creature” holds true in the film, I’m in like a stupid Hipster trend.
Ah, making fun of Nicholas Cage’s career, a pastime that never grows old. This Nicholas Cage inspired Photoshop game comes from Daniel O’Brien over at Cracked. Here’s how you play:
Step 1: Get a screengrab from a Nicolas Cage movie. Doesn’t matter what movie or how much facial hair Nicolas Cage has.
Step 2: Think of a line of dialogue, [Two Sentence Maximum] for Nicolas Cage. This line must, in your opinion (A) sum up the movie and (B) be just retarded enough that it might actually be a real line from a Nicolas Cage film.
Step 3: Superimpose that line over the picture.
Step 4: That is the entire game.
The result is something like this…
