5 Things You Must Let Go Of To Gain Inner Peace

December 17, 2019

As a species, we’re always trying to find that elusive ‘something extra’ that’s going to make us happy. Even if we’re relatively satisfied with our lives, we convince ourselves that we’ll only truly feel complete if we get our dream house, dream car, or dream job. We’re conditioned to look for more and to build on top of what we already have. Sometimes, just when we get what we think we’ve always wanted, we realize it hasn’t made us happy after all.

The reason that this happens is that all too often, we get our priorities the wrong way around. Finding inner peace rarely has anything to do with adding new possessions or new philosophies into our lives. We have enough of those already. More often than not, peace comes when we learn to let go of harmful thoughts and behaviors. The problem is that we don’t always recognize which ideas or actions are harmful, and that makes it hard to know what to let go of.

The advice we’re about to give you in this article shouldn’t be considered definitive, because there’s no one definitive way to go about finding inner peace. It should, however, be helpful as a guideline. If you recognize your own processes or thought patterns in anything we’re about to tell you, consider working on letting go of them. You may find that when you do, your life suddenly feels calmer and more ordered.

Stop Blaming Yourself

Only narcissists blame everybody else for their problems – it’s classic projection, where unwanted thoughts and feelings are unloaded onto other people in order to ease their own consciences. If you’re not a narcissist, you probably find yourself frequently putting all the blame for the failures of your life squarely onto your own shoulders. Whether it’s a failed relationship, failing finances, or a wrong decision or missed promotion opportunity at work, we convince ourselves that we’re the only people to blame. While accountability is an admirable trait, it’s unlikely that you’re 100% liable for the failure of anything. Only accept the blame for things that are or were within your field of control. Decisions made by other people don’t fall within that purview, and so you mustn’t shoulder the burden that comes with their failures.

Stop Trying To Impress Other People

We’ve heard it said by psychologists that we’re only truly ‘ourselves’ when we’re alone, and there’s nobody else around to see us. We’re not sure we agree completely with that, but most of us would admit to ‘putting on a performance’ to please the people we’re with. Usually, this change is behavior is born out of a desire (or in extreme cases, a need) for other people to like us. From school age to adulthood, nobody wants to be lonely or left out. You’ll never truly be happy, though, if the personality and face you show to those around you is a mask. Have the confidence to be yourself. Speak as you speak, and live as you live. Confidence radiates and attracts other people naturally.

Stop Making Tired Excuses

Even the most focused people have lazy days or make mistakes. That’s normal, and that’s human. If we make a habit of it, though, we’ll always be at odds with ourselves. There will always be a good reason in the moment why we shouldn’t finish a piece of work, or take an action that will improve our situation, but then further down the line we’ll be angry with ourselves that we didn’t do it. This can turn into a cycle, and it isn’t healthy. It’s hard to motivate ourselves to do something when there isn’t an immediate and obvious award, but it might be helpful to put yourself in the mindset of someone playing an UK online slots. If you know anything about online slots, you’ll know that success doesn’t come immediately. More often than not, you have to spend time and money repeatedly before an online slots game delivers any winnings to you. When that win does arrive, it happens even though nothing changed about your approach. Keep reminding yourself that a jackpot will eventually turn up if you keep putting the effort in, and stop making excuses for not doing so.

Stop Holding Grudges

There isn’t a person alive who hasn’t been wronged by somebody else. It’s the story of everybody. If someone has hurt you – and reconciliation isn’t possible or desired – cut them out of your life immediately. It’s natural to think of revenge, and even more so if the person who’s wronged you enjoyed doing so. That doesn’t make it a good idea. Thinking of revenge keeps the wound open, and occupies your time. You can only move on from an incident of someone else doing you malevolent harm by letting go of it, and progressing on your own path and living your own life. Every second you spend thinking about it or them is wasted time. Anger, hatred, and vengeance are harmful and destructive emotions. Don’t waste your time on them. Cut your ties, walk away, and never look back.

Stop Trying To Be An Island

Perhaps the most damaging belief about being mentally healthy is that it involves being totally reliant upon yourself. It doesn’t, and we don’t believe that anyone can achieve peace of mind alone. Whether it’s a family member, a partner, or a friend, you need someone who you can talk to and confide your innermost secrets and thoughts to. Everybody feels down occasionally – even those who seem peaceful on the surface – and as a consequence, everybody needs to ask for help on those occasions. Tragically, far too few people do so. A truly strong person recognizes when they’re in need, and also when they don’t have the right practical or emotional skills to deal with a situation. That’s when they approach someone else, and they benefit from doing so. At the same time, open yourself up to those who might need help from you. You’ll find great peace comes from assisting others.

Achieving and maintaining inner peace is a lifelong journey. It’s not something you suddenly obtain and then keep for your whole life after you’ve found it. Remaining calm and peaceful requires constant reflection, meditation, and renewal. Practice the philosophies we’ve outlined above every day, and we believe you’ll have a more relaxed 2020.